Saturday, October 8, 2011

Get a grip, son..

OH, HOW THE DAYS HAVE COME AND GONE.

I am just convinced that I will never be good at staying committed to updating myself on my own life.. seems silly, but it's a lot harder than I would think. Ha.

However, I enjoy looking back at the few posts i've written so far. 

Here's the thing though..

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED!

I freaking moved out with two of my best friends. 
I'm finally catching up with school.
I've been scoring goals, and we've been winning games.
I got a minuscule tattoo on my ankle, and i'm proud of it.. 
I'm working seven days a week at this freaking coffee shop to pay all of my bills.
I tried everclear for the first time.. yeah. 
I'm finally starting to get over the love of my life... slowly. 
I think about my sweet boy a little less every day, so I hurt a little less every day.
...which helps relieve my 23753969 other stresses.
For a while there I was feeling empty, lonely, worthless, and ugly.
THAT WAS A GOOD TIME.
I'm never dating someone younger than me AGAIN. 
My hair is no longer partially red. 
I took my tragus piercing out. 
SHOCKER. 
Andyroo moved to Germany. 
When he comes back i'm going to marry him if i'm not already married to Ryan Gosling.
I'm putting blue in my hair. 
Maddy has been visiting me every day at work. I am IN LOVE with her. 
Angela and Nate are probably going to get married, and i'm finally okay with that. 
Maggie is adorable, and gross, and messy, and silly, and wonderful. 
I started One Tree Hill season 1.. gonna have a marathon from seasons1-7.
I like my room.. it's not plain enough for my taste yet though. It'll get there. 
Uncle Jeff the landlord is so cool, but he probably hates me.. oh well. 
My Grandma Jackie passed away last night..
Thinking about how she could possibly be in hell made me sick to my stomach, the room started spinning. 
And currently... i'm alright, for the most part. 
I'm not super happy, i'm not super sad.. as John the homeless guy says, "I'm maintaing". 
I'm just existing. Floating. Breathing. Surviving. Waiting... I suppose.
I've been discovering new music though, and that always makes life better. 
And I'm finding out more and more what makes a great friend a great friend. 

So I mean, life is never going to be 100% perfect, but right now is just a middle ground. 
I'm ready to not feel lonely anymore though.. 
I think once I start learning how to be okay by myself, everything else will just start falling into place. 
I just go so used to being with someone who treated me as though I were the most important person in the world, and now i'm not really anyone's top priority..
Not the funnest adjustment i've ever had to make. 

I'm just thankful for my family, friends, house, soccer team, and moderately helpful teachers.

And i'm trusting Jesus, as always, to make everything work together for my good. 
He always takes care of me.. 
So now i'm looking forward, but making the most of right now. 

I'm so brilliant ;)

Love, 
LoLo






No comments:

Post a Comment